January 11, 2011

My Matthew

So, I'm pretty sure I have one of the best jobs on the planet... 'cause... I got to spend today with this little guy:

Obviously this picture was not taken today, but last May.  I can't believe how much he's grown since then!

I can't say too many wonderful things about Matthew.  He's my super kid.  He's one of the most kind-hearted, loving, sweet little boys I've ever known, and I love him back with all my being.  Sometimes when I lay my head down to sleep at night, if I start telling Eric about whatever Matty and I did that day, I can't keep the tears from forming in my eyes.  And I wonder at times whether I'll be able to hold as much love in my heart for my own child as I do for this one.  My heart is just so tender towards him.

Because of Matthew, I'm really starting to understand the Father's heart in that it's not what I do but who I am -- His child -- that makes Him love me.  'Cause Matthew's not perfect (ahem, nor my child, but I think the parallel stands).  But even when he has an "accident" again, even when he breaks down from exhaustion and throws a tantrum, even when he makes a mess on the just-cleaned kitchen floor, 
I adore him.  
Everything about him, from his slobbery kisses and heart-breaking smile, to his rambunctious parades of noise-making madness, I am totally smittened with.  Sure, I get frustrated with him at times, but I still love him to death.  I can't help it.  His imperfections only make me so much more thankful for who he really is: a little boy who loves and needs to be loved.

I never wanted a little boy.  Never.  I once thought it might be a good idea merely to perpetuate what is one of the coolest last names on the face of the earth.  But, in general, I thought I could do without the the mud tracked in and the trains abounding underfoot and the bugs brought to me for investigation and the generally loud running amok.  But Matthew has changed my mind.  I still long for a little girl to play princess with.  But I'd be ever so thankful for a little prince, too.  Which reminds me of another endearing thing about Matty -- his perpetual questions regarding my own perpetuation of the race.  My favorite time was when he asked, "Carrie, do you have a baby in your tummy?"  Laughingly I replied, "No, Matthew," to which he answered with his little hands on my... er... upper body, "But you have these."

He asked yet again a few weeks ago, "Carrie, when are you gonna get a baby?"  Good question, Matthew.  But not one I can answer, much to the chagrin of mothers everywhere (at least, one in North Carolina).  I don't know and won't venture to find out, but -- while attempting to enjoy every minute of this short married-without-kids season -- I can say I'm looking forward to the next season with prayer and hope that I "get" a kid as darling as my Matthew.

A happily exhausted pair.
Stay tuned for the someday-forthcoming prequel and sequel 
- Rozzie and Daniel -
two more of my favorite kids in the world!


  1. Oh Carrie--you've brought tears to my eyes, dangit! So precious.
    And in line with your funny story, one time my sister Heidi was babysitting a little guy about the same age as Matthew, and he said (pointing at her 'upper body') and looking very knowing: "I know what you have in there. It's milk."
    It was a classic moment.

  2. HAHAHA!!! Thanks for sharing that classic moment with me, Jenna. I love the charming impropriety of three-year-old boys. :D

  3. This post made me smile so much. How is Matthew related to you?

    I love my kids in Sunday School - I teach those between 3 to 5 years of age, and I REALLY love them! They can drive me crazy, too, but just being with them helps me forget some of my troubles for a while. I can't wait to be a mother. :)

  4. I know what you mean, Addy! I nanny for Matthew and his brother and sister, so I'm with him four afternoons a week. Such a sweetie. :)